It was not my best idea…

I work as an RN. Obviously I am out on leave right now but I do work full time in the psychiatric field. I love it and hate it but wouldn’t do anything else.

Because I waited until almost 30 to finally get my ass in gear and finish up school, i have been doing school non-stop since then. I got my ASN, then my BSN, and now I’m working on my doctoral degree to be a psychiatric nurse practitioner. I’ve maintained above a 3.6 this whole time (my undergrads were summa and magna cum laude). I am tired.

I am so sick of school. I am sick of not reading for fun. I am sick of discussion boards. I am sick of teachers that really suck at making tests. I think I should have stopped at my bachelors degree. And then I remember, floor nursing is hard physically and mentally. I can handle the mental but my body cannot take the physical much longer.

On that note, I am down 8 pounds since 2 weeks ago because I cannot eat and can barely drink anything. Who would’ve thought I would be back here 2 years later? This is not what I want my life to be. I am angry at being a chronically ill person who cannot seem to manage her diseases.

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I am angry at not being in control.

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